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14 August 2007 @ 11:56 am
How many days are left here? To be honest, in my head it makes survival a little harder when counting is involved-unless I'm counting down, of course. I can't wait for school to start. Why? Let's sum it up in a very confusing post.

Religion: Worse than being pulled in four directions toward a meat grinder. Sweeter than anything you've ever tasted (diabetic coma sweet). It's all in the root of the reason, methinks.

Take my godmother. The born-again, "hallelujah", "Take this Book and read it" kind of woman. When she was named godmother at my baptism, she didn't even know what a pew looked like, but she got the job because she was at my birth while my dad was watching the Bears game (the lovable douchebag). With me, there's a 'push it and I'll pull away' mentality, so as soon as she got 'saved', I started looking for anything to believe in other than having to go to monotheistic mafia-run storefront churches that held no weight in religious fulfillment. My problem was my father's-our belief was that anything is real if you believe in it strongly enough. I like to call it the 'Peter Pan Complex'.

I avoid calling the godmother because as soon as the reciever's picked up, she denounces my homosexuality although she knows nothing of it. The religious types-they have interesting Spidey sense. She also denounces the dragon's pendant around my neck, calling it evil witchcraft. Then she goes off into this 20 minute prayer service on the phone denouncing everything else except my underwear, so I take the opportunity to listen in and zone out. It all started in 8th grade when I bought this snazzy poster, which was also the first poster traded for my currency. It was psychedelic, which complimented the obscene hippie stage of my life before I fell into the emotional 3 years of high school. It had tye-dye swirling around it almost like an accidental optical illusion. In the center were two tigers designed to fit the symbol of Yin and Yang. White and black, dominant submissive, good and evil, ect. The godmother visited our modest little apartment and toured my room while I screwed around with my gigapet (it was a Little Mermaid one. It ate seaweed crackers and played with a beachball. I loved her dearly). While I was busy feeding and playing away with Ariel the Warrior Mermaid, my attention was detoured when the godmother asked me about it and I explained it to her. Before I even finished, she went off into this sweet-talking tyraid about how I was indulging in Satan and I need to rebuke the liar. In the same sentence, she kind of pissed my dad off, denouncing (there's that word again) our belief in the existence of hell. After that day, anything I pretty much did was evil, but she still loves me, and I love her respectively. I just never want to say a word to her anymore, cause I'll probably go to hell for it. :P

starting to involuntarily bond with my parents now that there's only three of us. Amidst the endless card games with my mother and listening to my father playfully mock me for being more 'old school' than he is, I'm gaining a spark of assurance that everything will be alright in the long run. Of course, the criticisms from my mother are always there (ie: "lose weight, grow up, find a boyfriend, get some black friends", yadayadayada), but I'm beginning to think that she can't help it. She has a fair amount of obsession with her appearance and everyone else's. The father and I are on the same length for about 90% of it-we don't care. I think I planned out my sophomore year. Everything I want comes later. Everything I really want comes first. What do I really want? Simple-I want in that damned English Honors Society. So I'll be working toward that and a job first. Too many things at once will definitely screw me up

Relationships-Hm. I assume I've never really pondered over it at all this summer. Indifference is good in this area for now. People go crazy in love, and I'm already half-off the deep end in life. I'll leave this area alone and see what happens. Yeah. We're seriously going to go through with the foster care! I'm excited, especially since the rules speculate that the kids that will be coming need actual rooms. With that said, I'll be kicked into the basement (which is where I've wanted to live since we moved in this house). Plus, I want to be able to have a sibling relationship with a kid to make up for the one I never had with my sister or brothers. I'm also excited about the background check we're getting to be able to house the children. It's all CSI-like.
24 March 2007 @ 08:52 am
Plymouth Rock took its time on me.
I would assume that it was waiting
for some sign of life to spout out
from my mouth while I rambled
nonsensical nonsense
and had deep discussions
with my own little bottle of fermented
After awhile, my dialated pupils
realized that the rest of the room
was souless and the shells
of the party guests had trotted away
to tend to their own affairs.
That's just like the rest of the world
to leave me here alone.

Yeah copyrights! I'm quite proud of this one...
Fate places me: room and bored
Feelin' A little: quixotichell to the ooh
I'm flailing my arms to: shatterday - Vendetta X Red
17 February 2007 @ 04:31 pm
For the most part, I'm lucky I've never really gone through this before. What is it? I'm getting there.

A few days ago, another (and be glad you don't know about the other ones) confrontation broke out at The Underground, which is a little hangout in this modest college town. For the past two weeks, it's seemed like every time I go down there, something happens. Those two days ago were no different. A friend of ours called another friend a child and a spaz.

Now, I know what you're thinking. No big deal, right?

Well, it was to her. She looked up to the guy, and for him to knock her down like that so vehemently was...ignorant, especially since she has symptoms of A.D.D. that we're planning on following up on along with her at a doctor's office in Chicago.

For the past two days, she's been crying, and myself plus a few other friends couldn't take it anymore, so we've been pretty much demanding an apology from him on her behalf. But he won't do it because he stands behind what he says and he's "Tired of being Politically Correct"

Don't come to me with that bullshit.

To stand there and not apologize while at the same time calling my friends immature makes you even younger in your actions than the rest of us combined. I'm sorry if I have some empathy and can't stand to see someone hurt over something that obviously hurt her-especially since it came from you. All we asked for was an apology.

He won't do it.

I see no reason to continue any sort of friendship with him then.

And that's what hurts the most.
Fate places me: Lenu's Place
Feelin' A little: depressedassholery surrounds me
I'm flailing my arms to: Suavemente-Elvis Crispo
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So there's the story...what else can I say?
Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentines Day!
Fate places me: Mellenger LaBOREatory
Feelin' A little: crappyV-day hater's mode.
I'm flailing my arms to: Paramore-Emergency
11 February 2007 @ 12:59 pm

How Will I Die Quiz

How Will I Die Quiz

You will die at the age of 26

You will die trying to be the first person to mail yourself around the world

Find out how you will die at Quizopolis.com

Feelin' A little: cheerfulWoot!
I'm flailing my arms to: Technologic-Daft Punk
09 February 2007 @ 10:40 am
I've got time to waste, so I'll make a quick journal, then get obsessive and garner into deeper topics *Le gasp*

Let's see...This weekend, I'm dorm-hopping, whilst the roommate has some high school acquaintances over.

I've found a site that I may want to give my virginity to. It's that good.

radioblogclub.com Yeah!

I have a speech due, and anxiety kills me, but today is a kickass day!

That is all (for now)

Feelin' A little: chipperWoot!
I'm flailing my arms to: Let's Groove Tonight-Earth, Wind, and Fire (oooh!)
02 February 2007 @ 01:34 am
Yeah, I pledged, and no I'm not on crack. I don't know what came over me. Alpha Xi Delta seems like the anti-sorority sorority. I feel like I'm on the same level with those girls, especially since they all seem really cool, so I decided to give the informal rush a shot. Today was the last day, where stuff happened and we dressed up. It was pretty neat, and I felt like I was a part of something. That's always a good thing to feel, especially in this society where you're lucky you can afford soup. If I'm lucky, I'll get the bid to be in the sorority. If not, then we'll have to try again then, won't we? I'm not getting my hopes up. I've been knocked down enough times. Heh.

I have a lot of stuff to catch up on, so you may wonder why I'm wasting time on my LJ, where you can't masturbate all the time (XD)? I dunno. Just to get worry off of my chest. I really do hope I make it. That would kick ass.

[/end transmission]
Feelin' A little: sleepyZzZz
I'm flailing my arms to: the whirring of my computer. So calming...
28 January 2007 @ 03:33 pm
Indie Personality Test Results
54% Indie
Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very liberal, independent minded, self identify as an outsider, shun materialism and popular culture, and have an aversion to organized religion. While high scorers are more intellectual than average, they are probably more artistically astute than intellectually avante guard (i.e. they are more likely to know of new interesting new bands/artists/writers than the best way to extract energy from a hydrogen atom. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more materialistic, conservative, corporate friendly, social and are more likely to be religious.
Take Free Indie Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Big Five Test Results
Extroversion (78%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Accommodation (86%) very high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (18%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense too often of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Emotional Stability (36%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Inquisitiveness (34%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress.
Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Fate places me: In Valhalla!
Feelin' A little: sleepysleepy
I'm flailing my arms to: "Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin
I was gonna strive to make this one of my longest journal posts...but it's 12:34a.m. in Illinois, so that's not going to happen anytime soon. Here we go...

I didn't want to go to the IMEA (Illinois Music Educators Association)

I wasn't joking.

Apparently, everyone thought I was secretly psyched about being among my fellow music freaks for four days even though I had only been back to school from break for about two weeks.

I'm jetlagged...or carlagged. I wasn't too settled, or too thrilled when all of a sudden, I'm forced to go to something that didn't benefit me in the long run. Most of the presentations I went to were for educators with a focus on vocal conducting/performing. I'm mainly for the instrumental side of the spectrum and it pissed me off that democracy had both the final say on me having to go and where I had to go as far as different presentations on things. So it was safe to say I wasn't in the greatest mood in the world.

On top of that, I had the unfortunate luck to be in the middle of gay U.S.A. and I wasn't cheerful. You can't expect to be a contradiction and get away with it, especially in a music setting. Needless to say, I'm sure I missed out on a couple of good flings while at the convention. The ladies were two thumbs up all around. Poo poo on me, I say.

Long story short, I missed class for a bullshit convention that barely got me any closer to realizing my dream of going back to my high school, burning every string instrument I find, and renaming the Orchestra the Maria Marching Mystics. Hell yeah. Waste of time.

~And now, back to our regularly scheduled gripe.~

Ok, I'm glad I have time to let this out now. If you're tired of what I'm about to touch on, then don't read it. I'm not forcing the only 3-4 people on my friend's list to. I should spend more time on this thing. It's not as craptacular as I had originally thought.

*Ahem* Let's do it.

I dunno what the hell happened on HC, and the fact that I can't say "Carooroo" anymore because she's not there has pissed me off to a certain extent. I only just about a half hour ago decided to make a grand re-entrance into the OOC Thread after I told myself that mean people suck and I don't wanna risk making the wrong kind of friends so I won't go back anymore. *shrugs* I guess I get attached to the first people I talk to and when they're forced out (which is what I'm gathering since I remember good old C-shizzle admantly refusing to let the Corporate Castle get the best of her) to the point that I can never talk to them there again, it blows many a hookah, and not in the good way.

What's my point?

It wasn't fair, that's my motherfuckin' point. (Oy...I used the mother of all swears. I hadn't done that since the summer of '92. Yeah, I'm mad)

Now I know that my escape from reality is just as brutal as that fabled actuality.

There is no escape then....sonofabitch

EMO Journal....*cough*

Damn, can't win for losing in this world.

End scene.
Feelin' A little: annoyedannoyed
I'm flailing my arms to: "Serpentine" - Ani Difranco
21 January 2007 @ 01:09 am
The the impotence of proofreading

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.
Feelin' A little: sleepysleepy
I'm flailing my arms to: Hot Like Fire-Aaliyah